Post by Blaise Zebrataur on Jun 10, 2011 0:28:46 GMT -5
This is my first ever fan fiction I have ever wrote. After seven years of role playing, I have decided to try my hand at writing a story for the first time ever. This fan fiction is a story about Tobias from Animorphs and Truttle, a bear created by a Brother Bear and member of the forum Awaken as a Bear who was nice enough to allow me the creative control of his character for this story alone.
I hope you like my work and if you all think I did good,who knows maybe I will be a writer full time.
It was a nice cool day in the middle of the summer deep in the woods. The sun was out, shining down on the land beneath it was the world was truly alive today. The birds were chirping their songs, the squirrels were doing there dance in the trees as they collected nuts and acorns and many other animals were doing their own thing and going about life. Truly this was a place in the world where happiness and peace was despite all the hard troubles that was in the world outside of the woods.
Underneath the branches of the trees and underneath the calling of the birds and busy squirrels, there was the busy movement of a certain grizzly looking for food. His name was Truttle, as he was a peach colored bear. He had bright golden tan eye patches as his green eyes looking left and right for any signs of food. His muzzle was a bright and golden tan as his dark brownish nose sniffed over the ground. At the top of his neck, a brown mane started and stretched down around his neck and alittle down his back. Snow White fur covered his underbelly as his little tail twitched behind him as he went.
*Oh come on there has to be some food around here.*Truttle said to himself as he sniffed around a tree,hoping to find some roots or berries of any kind. Luckily for him,his nose smelled the scent of some roots nearby.*Ah ha there you are.*he said and went off into a little run and toward the smell, not noticing that he was going alittle out of the woods and into a small meadow that had a single oak tree sitting in the center of it.
Truttle came to a stop right by the tree, sniffing once at the ground to make sure it was the right spot and moves his paws down to begin digging down to find the roots he had smelled.*Come on nose,don't be wrong on me now.*he said as he dug up dirt around him on either side as he came to a stop about six inches down in the ground.*Ah ha jackpot,all the roots I can eat.*he smiled proudly at the treasure of roots he had found.
Truttle lowered his head down and picked one up and begins to eat it in his mouth.*Mmmm,not to bad.*he said as he walked around the hole he had just dug and sat down at the base of the tree. He then finished chewing the root he was on and reached down to pick another and popped it into his mouth.*Man,this is a nice little meadow for a bear to come and relax at.*he said to himself, while chewing on the root.
However, unknown to Truttle,a certain animal was watching the bear's every moment once he got into the meadow. High above the meadow in the sky, was a red-tailed hawk. His name was Tobias and he was more then just a normal hawk. His head was covered in brown feathers that stretched down and stopped around his neck. His laser like eyes could easily see down at the bear and see his every movement as the beak he had was a deadly weapon that could cut through flesh with perfect aim. His back and wings were covered in the same brown color, but somewhat darker then his head as his wings stretched out wide as he flew overhead. His underbelly was covered in white feathers that stretched down to his legs, which ended in yellow legs and razor sharp talons. His tail feathers was a rusty red which gave him the famous name of bird: red-tailed hawk.
However, unlike other birds this was was very different. Because inside the hawk's head, was the mind of a human. Tobias was a human before he had gotten trapped in morph in a war long ago that he barely talked about to anyone not that it mattered anyway since it was though he was dead. No one had cared for him before as a human, and only one person had cared after he got trapped as a hawk, but she was dead now and Tobias had removed himself from the human world.
Tobias moved on the thermal some as he watched the bear before he decided to go down and rest his wings and talk with the bear, which was impossible because none of the animals had talked before. So Tobias flapped his wings and flew down the thermal and toward the meadow he owned and the tree he called home for the past few months since the war ended.
Truttle had continued to eat the roots away happily before he relaxed back on the tree and placed his paws on his stomach.*Ahhh man those are the best roots I have ever ate in my life.*As he leaned back, he saw a bird flying toward the tree but he didn't really pay attention to it as he closed his eyes for a few seconds to relax and rest his stomach after eating.
The wings flapped as Tobias landed on a branch in the middle of the old oak tree as he looked down at the bear.<Wow,you were hungry weren't you?>he asked in thought-speak as that was the only way he could talk due do being trapped in morph. Truttle's eyed snapped open as he heard someone talk as his head snapped around left and right.*Wha? What? Whose there?*he said as even though it was a few seconds, he was tired and had fallen asleep.
Tobias flapped his wings again hoping to get his attention.<I did.>he said again in Truttle's mind. Truttle blinked curiously as his head raised straight up and looked up at the hawk on the branch, before lowering his head back down and looking at the roots and picking one up.*Man,those must have been strong roots, I was sure that bird said something to me.*
Tobias sighed and shook his head.<Look bear,I did say something and this isn't some dream land.>he said flapping his wings and flew to a lower branch. Truttle's eyes finally snapped widen open seeing and hearing this, jumping up quickly, which caused his brown mane to flop up and down as he did.*Whoa...hey I didn't know birds could talk.*he said in awe as he moved his paws around the hole he had dug so he could look at the hawk fully.
<Finally, you listen to me.>Tobias said as he folded his wings into his sides and dug his talons into the branch he was on.<First off, why don't you tell me your name and why you are here in my meadow and digging at my tree?>he said looking at Truttle with his laser like eyes. Truttle blinked and blushed.*Oh my name is Truttle.*he said smiling at the hawk.*But didn't know this was your meadow.*he said as he moved his paws to push some dirt back in the hole.*Cause I was just here eating some roots since I couldn't find any other food.*
Tobias turned his head at the bear as he hear what Truttle said.<Well that is ok, I guess its not really just my full meadow anyway.>he said before he lowered his head to preen some of his feathers that had been ruffled from flying. Truttle nodded back at that.*The whole world is all ours together, we just have to learn to share.*he said with a cheerful smile.*But I still don't understand, I have never heard a bird talk like you..but your not really talking, your mouth hasn't moved a bit.*he said curiously to Tobias.
Tobias was quiet for a few seconds as he preened his feathers.<That is because I speak in thoughts, through your head its the way I talk since I am not really a hawk.>Truttle listened and he was right, he could hear Tobias's thoughts in his head.*But...wait...you are a hawk..so how can't you not really be one?*he said confused at what he meant.
Tobias raised his head and looked to the woods,away from Truttle.<Before I became what I am now..I was a human being.>Truttle's eyes widen as he heard this, he had seen many humans in the woods hunting and killing other animals.*Wha...but...how?*he said shaking his head.*Your a bird now, not a human.*
Tobias continued to look away from Truttle, as if what he said was too painful for even him to say.<It is best if somethings are kept secret and in the past.>he said to Truttle finally. Truttle saw how Tobias looked and knew it was better to keep it in the past.*Well...ok if that is what you want.*he finished placing the dirt back in the hole.*Hey I know, why don't you come with me to the Salmon Run with me Tobias?*he said with a smile.
Tobias turned his head to look at Truttle.<The Salmon Run?>he asked. Truttle nodded.*Yeah,there will be fish, and bears, and fish, and bears, and more fish and you will have so much fun there that you won't have to think about the stuff in the past.*he said cheerfully, hoping he would come so they both could have fun and enjoy life as it was not back in the past.
Tobias started to shake his head.<I don't know.>Truttle lowered his ears some.*Oh come on, please I promise you will have fun and its not far from your meadow or these woods.*Truttle replied fast, hoping he would say yes.<Well...ok I guess I can go for a few days.>Tobias replied back.
*Good lets get going.*he turned and walked off into the woods.<Sure I am right behind you.>he said jumping off his branch and into the sky, flying overhead Truttle. Truttle smiled to himself as he was happy he had made and new friend and that they'd both be going together to the Salmon Run and Tobias would have some fun.
"Your going to love it Tobias, there will be bears, and fish, and salmon and fish and bears and fish...."
This is as far as I will go on this story for now. I wanted to see if anyone thought I was good, give me any pointers and any other feedback on this story.
And again, thanks for Truttle for given me permission to make this story using his own character. And I also want to thank Truttle for coming up with the name of this fan fiction.
I hope I did you well brother,
Oreius
I hope you like my work and if you all think I did good,who knows maybe I will be a writer full time.
It was a nice cool day in the middle of the summer deep in the woods. The sun was out, shining down on the land beneath it was the world was truly alive today. The birds were chirping their songs, the squirrels were doing there dance in the trees as they collected nuts and acorns and many other animals were doing their own thing and going about life. Truly this was a place in the world where happiness and peace was despite all the hard troubles that was in the world outside of the woods.
Underneath the branches of the trees and underneath the calling of the birds and busy squirrels, there was the busy movement of a certain grizzly looking for food. His name was Truttle, as he was a peach colored bear. He had bright golden tan eye patches as his green eyes looking left and right for any signs of food. His muzzle was a bright and golden tan as his dark brownish nose sniffed over the ground. At the top of his neck, a brown mane started and stretched down around his neck and alittle down his back. Snow White fur covered his underbelly as his little tail twitched behind him as he went.
*Oh come on there has to be some food around here.*Truttle said to himself as he sniffed around a tree,hoping to find some roots or berries of any kind. Luckily for him,his nose smelled the scent of some roots nearby.*Ah ha there you are.*he said and went off into a little run and toward the smell, not noticing that he was going alittle out of the woods and into a small meadow that had a single oak tree sitting in the center of it.
Truttle came to a stop right by the tree, sniffing once at the ground to make sure it was the right spot and moves his paws down to begin digging down to find the roots he had smelled.*Come on nose,don't be wrong on me now.*he said as he dug up dirt around him on either side as he came to a stop about six inches down in the ground.*Ah ha jackpot,all the roots I can eat.*he smiled proudly at the treasure of roots he had found.
Truttle lowered his head down and picked one up and begins to eat it in his mouth.*Mmmm,not to bad.*he said as he walked around the hole he had just dug and sat down at the base of the tree. He then finished chewing the root he was on and reached down to pick another and popped it into his mouth.*Man,this is a nice little meadow for a bear to come and relax at.*he said to himself, while chewing on the root.
However, unknown to Truttle,a certain animal was watching the bear's every moment once he got into the meadow. High above the meadow in the sky, was a red-tailed hawk. His name was Tobias and he was more then just a normal hawk. His head was covered in brown feathers that stretched down and stopped around his neck. His laser like eyes could easily see down at the bear and see his every movement as the beak he had was a deadly weapon that could cut through flesh with perfect aim. His back and wings were covered in the same brown color, but somewhat darker then his head as his wings stretched out wide as he flew overhead. His underbelly was covered in white feathers that stretched down to his legs, which ended in yellow legs and razor sharp talons. His tail feathers was a rusty red which gave him the famous name of bird: red-tailed hawk.
However, unlike other birds this was was very different. Because inside the hawk's head, was the mind of a human. Tobias was a human before he had gotten trapped in morph in a war long ago that he barely talked about to anyone not that it mattered anyway since it was though he was dead. No one had cared for him before as a human, and only one person had cared after he got trapped as a hawk, but she was dead now and Tobias had removed himself from the human world.
Tobias moved on the thermal some as he watched the bear before he decided to go down and rest his wings and talk with the bear, which was impossible because none of the animals had talked before. So Tobias flapped his wings and flew down the thermal and toward the meadow he owned and the tree he called home for the past few months since the war ended.
Truttle had continued to eat the roots away happily before he relaxed back on the tree and placed his paws on his stomach.*Ahhh man those are the best roots I have ever ate in my life.*As he leaned back, he saw a bird flying toward the tree but he didn't really pay attention to it as he closed his eyes for a few seconds to relax and rest his stomach after eating.
The wings flapped as Tobias landed on a branch in the middle of the old oak tree as he looked down at the bear.<Wow,you were hungry weren't you?>he asked in thought-speak as that was the only way he could talk due do being trapped in morph. Truttle's eyed snapped open as he heard someone talk as his head snapped around left and right.*Wha? What? Whose there?*he said as even though it was a few seconds, he was tired and had fallen asleep.
Tobias flapped his wings again hoping to get his attention.<I did.>he said again in Truttle's mind. Truttle blinked curiously as his head raised straight up and looked up at the hawk on the branch, before lowering his head back down and looking at the roots and picking one up.*Man,those must have been strong roots, I was sure that bird said something to me.*
Tobias sighed and shook his head.<Look bear,I did say something and this isn't some dream land.>he said flapping his wings and flew to a lower branch. Truttle's eyes finally snapped widen open seeing and hearing this, jumping up quickly, which caused his brown mane to flop up and down as he did.*Whoa...hey I didn't know birds could talk.*he said in awe as he moved his paws around the hole he had dug so he could look at the hawk fully.
<Finally, you listen to me.>Tobias said as he folded his wings into his sides and dug his talons into the branch he was on.<First off, why don't you tell me your name and why you are here in my meadow and digging at my tree?>he said looking at Truttle with his laser like eyes. Truttle blinked and blushed.*Oh my name is Truttle.*he said smiling at the hawk.*But didn't know this was your meadow.*he said as he moved his paws to push some dirt back in the hole.*Cause I was just here eating some roots since I couldn't find any other food.*
Tobias turned his head at the bear as he hear what Truttle said.<Well that is ok, I guess its not really just my full meadow anyway.>he said before he lowered his head to preen some of his feathers that had been ruffled from flying. Truttle nodded back at that.*The whole world is all ours together, we just have to learn to share.*he said with a cheerful smile.*But I still don't understand, I have never heard a bird talk like you..but your not really talking, your mouth hasn't moved a bit.*he said curiously to Tobias.
Tobias was quiet for a few seconds as he preened his feathers.<That is because I speak in thoughts, through your head its the way I talk since I am not really a hawk.>Truttle listened and he was right, he could hear Tobias's thoughts in his head.*But...wait...you are a hawk..so how can't you not really be one?*he said confused at what he meant.
Tobias raised his head and looked to the woods,away from Truttle.<Before I became what I am now..I was a human being.>Truttle's eyes widen as he heard this, he had seen many humans in the woods hunting and killing other animals.*Wha...but...how?*he said shaking his head.*Your a bird now, not a human.*
Tobias continued to look away from Truttle, as if what he said was too painful for even him to say.<It is best if somethings are kept secret and in the past.>he said to Truttle finally. Truttle saw how Tobias looked and knew it was better to keep it in the past.*Well...ok if that is what you want.*he finished placing the dirt back in the hole.*Hey I know, why don't you come with me to the Salmon Run with me Tobias?*he said with a smile.
Tobias turned his head to look at Truttle.<The Salmon Run?>he asked. Truttle nodded.*Yeah,there will be fish, and bears, and fish, and bears, and more fish and you will have so much fun there that you won't have to think about the stuff in the past.*he said cheerfully, hoping he would come so they both could have fun and enjoy life as it was not back in the past.
Tobias started to shake his head.<I don't know.>Truttle lowered his ears some.*Oh come on, please I promise you will have fun and its not far from your meadow or these woods.*Truttle replied fast, hoping he would say yes.<Well...ok I guess I can go for a few days.>Tobias replied back.
*Good lets get going.*he turned and walked off into the woods.<Sure I am right behind you.>he said jumping off his branch and into the sky, flying overhead Truttle. Truttle smiled to himself as he was happy he had made and new friend and that they'd both be going together to the Salmon Run and Tobias would have some fun.
"Your going to love it Tobias, there will be bears, and fish, and salmon and fish and bears and fish...."
This is as far as I will go on this story for now. I wanted to see if anyone thought I was good, give me any pointers and any other feedback on this story.
And again, thanks for Truttle for given me permission to make this story using his own character. And I also want to thank Truttle for coming up with the name of this fan fiction.
I hope I did you well brother,
Oreius
I did like this fic, you asked for some pointers and I do think the nitpicks, while not major, will help the writing.