Post by EbonyPatriot on Sept 14, 2005 17:02:56 GMT -5
A 2-D Movie. By EbonyPatriot. 01/16/04.
Disclaimer: Heck with it- I’ll do copyrights at the end of the fic. However, it is a parody of the 1995 of A Goofy Movie.
A/N: Good day everyone.
As you may recall, I had several parodies posted here. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to save them all on my computer; thus when the Funny Forest was accidentally deleted, the parodies went to the great message board in the sky- all but three of them; the three which, in my humble opinion, were the best of my humorous writings. Two were my Jib-Jab parodies (those I'll re-post in November); the third was this one. I have the second chapter done; however, it may be a while before the third chapter pops up as well (I've forgotten a lot of what I was going to have in this fic). Well, I've rambling on enough. So read, my friends, enjoy, and let's set the insanity free!
Setting: The year is 2000, and the traditionally animated characters have come to terms with an undeniable truth: Steve Irwin is nuts. No, seriously- their time is over.
The unreleased animated characters both go to Animation School and live in a master-apprentice relationship with an older character.
Our protagonist is Kenai. Although his movie is set to come out in 2003, his hopes for it aren’t very high- indeed he thinks that the 2-Ds just accept their fate and rule the world of television and Direct-To-Video. Buzz, however, the 3-D turned 2-D character, thinks that the 2-D’s rightful place is on the big screen…
-------
"Kenai." The tawny bear lifted his head, desperately searching for the angelic voice.
“Kenai.” Kenai galloped through the golden plains, running, running until he found what he sought: the beautiful Lulu-belle.
She leapt from her pillar perch into his arms. The two lay side by side in a sun-warmed meadow, observing each with loving eyes.
Smiling, Lulu-belle leaned to kiss him; only to withdraw against the black sky with a shriek.
“What’s wrong?” cried Kenai, looking down at where his paws had been. Gloved, plastic hands had replaced the furry forefeet.
Kenai reared to his back legs, gasping as a helmet shut over head. Painfully, he morphed into a giant spaceman.
“Buzz-Buzz-Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!” Kenai shouted.
-------
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Kenai awoke with a jolt, feeling his soft brown fur. No suit, no anything…
“It was only a dream,” he muttered. “A dream.”
“Time to get up, pal! We got a game to play!!” rang a Mickey Mouse-shaped phone, scaring the bruin bad enough to bat it. Realizing what it was, he managed to catch it before it smashed into smithereens. “Hello?”
“Kenai!” exclaimed Koda on the other line. “Where are you?!? Don’t tell me you chickened out of your big plan AGAIN, you big wuss!!”
“What?” asked Kenai, staring at the six-o’clock. “Wait a minute.” A powerful blow forced it to reveal the correct time of seven o’clock. “I’M LATE!!”
“Look, Kenai,” said Koda as the tawny bear struggled to prepare himself for Animation School. “I know we all can’t raging balls of brown fur; so if you want to quit this whole stupid futile ‘disturb the dull-as-dirt-Buck’s-lecture-on-how-2-D-should-only-live-on-in-T.V.-which-we-already-know-to-get-Lulu-belle’s attention, I’m cool with that.”
“NO KODA!!” growled Kenai. “It’s now or never!!”
“All right, have your way, you whimpering little murderer,” clicked Koda.
“Morning, o apprentice of mine!” said Buzz, the 3-D-turned-2-D space man, as he entered Kenai room wearing his pink Mrs. Nesbit’s outfit.
“BUZZ MY EYES!!!” screeched Kenai, covering his pupils.
“Oh sorry, space bear.” Buzz closed the door, knocked, and entered again. “Morning, apprentice! I came you see if had any…old conception arts…” the space ranger’s voice trailed off as he saw the ankle-high papers.
“Well there they are help yourself!” stammered Kenai, grooming his fur.
“Kenai you half-wit,” barked Lightyear. “Future rabid Brother Bear fans will KILL for these. You have to save them. What’s wrong with you anyway?”
“I’m late for animation school!!” exclaimed Kenai, wolfing down some day-old salmon.
“Well I could drop your there on my way to work,” said Buzz, vacuuming up the papers.
“It’s a closed air space Buzz-”
“OOPS!”
“I don’t like that word… AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!” said Kenai, gasping in terror as he saw his Mickey Mouse phone/alarm clock in the muzzle of the apron -wearing space toy’s vacuum.
“Buzz Buzz Buzz!” cried Kenai as Lightyear vainly tried to pull it out. Eyes flashing, the bear hit the off button. “Lightyear to the rescue- yeah right,” snarled the Bear. “You ruined it! And it was a collectable!”
“Aww come on bear boy,” chuckled Buzz, slapping the bruin’s back. “Why at my work there are two hundred of those things! They never sell- oh wait that’s the Mortimer Mouse ones.” Silence, then: “Who was he anyway?”
Kenai’s eyes narrowed. “Only Mickey Mouse, the most-beloved American icon of our century.”
Buzz grinned. “Not bigger than the Country Big Dog Toby Keith!”
Kenai’s face was incredulous. “You know who Toby Keith is but not Mick-”
“He has great songs! Like this one.” The bear watched in supreme horror as the space ranger burst into an off-key song (accompanied by bad dancing with the unwilling apprentice): "Don’t break my heart, my achey-breakey heart. I just don’t think it’ll understand!!”
“BUZZ NO!! THAT’S NOT EVEN TOBY!! OH STOP PLEASE!!! COME ON WHAT IF DREAMWORKS IS FILMING THIS FOR BLACKMAIL!! LET GO!!”
“Cause if you tell my heart, my achey-breakey heart,” soloed Buzz as the young grizzly ran for it. “It might blow up and kill its man. Ah good song eh Kenai? Kenai?”
-------
Kenai loped through the yard. Almost there…
“KENAI!!” said Buzz, blasting in front of him and shoving a brown paper bag into his mouth. “You forgot your lunch!”
“But I’m only going to be there for forty-five minutes!”
“So!?! You never know when a pack of Crater Vipers will attack, thus the need for carbon-based energy,” explained Buzz, walking off.
“LOSER!!” sneered the passer-bys P.T. and Molt.
Kenai smiled grimly until they passed; ears flat, he stalked down the sidewalk. “They’ve been laughing since the month of November. But they’re not gonna laugh anymore! No more 2-D the geek! No more flop of the week like before!”
“No longer shall 2-D be remembered!” sang Waternoose, tearing apart a poster of Walt and Mickey.
“We’ll watch them all perish with glee,” sneered Randall, grabbing Kenai’s ruff and tearing off several chunks of hair.
“In with what‘s hip and fresh,” stated Anchor.
“Out with the pencil drawn flesh,” sang Chum.
“Long live 3-D!” chanted the Tank Gang. “Long live 3-D! Long live 3-D!!”
“Gonna remember something!” vowed Dory.
“Gonna live in the pool!” smiled Gil.
“Gonna talk to Lulu-belle,” interjected Kenai. “And not feel like a fool!”
“Too late for that, kid,” said Gil.
“Cause after today we’re gonna be ruling,” chorused the Pixar characters.
“After today she’ll be mine!” warbled Kenai,
“After today we’ll be the animation kings!” agreed the Pixars.
Kenai pointed his muzzle at the sky. “If I don’t faint I’ll be fine!”
“We’ve got just four years of the old school,” announced Celia.
“Then down with the cartoons!” yodeled Mike.
“And up with what’s cool!” seconded Francis.
The young bear raced down the street, full of love of life; stopping only when he had reached a T.V. store. “Just think of all the time I’ve been losing finding the right thing to say. Cause thing will be going my way after today.”
Kenai’s face grew excited. And with good reason: the beautiful honey-brown Lulu-belle had just walked passed him, her smiling eyes on her path.
“She looked right through me,” sighed Kenai, slumping to the ground. “And who can blame her?” Rearing onto his back limbs, he pressed his face against the window, watching as a life-size model of Snow White was taken down. “Dead may 2-D be.” Kenai’s eyes grew determined as he charged onto the school bus. “But we shall now rule the world of T.V. And-”
“After today our brains will cruising!” cheered the various animated characters.
“No more moral scene to cut! Blah!” agreed Rodger Ebert, Puss in Boots and Donkey as they sat in the front seat.
“After today our minds will be snoozing!”
“I’m gonna just sit on my butt,” shouted Bruce the Bus-driver.
“I’ve got less than an hour. And when this is ended I’ll either be famous!” sang Kenai, running head-long into Principal Buck the Stallion.
“Or you will be censored!” barked Buck.
“Just think of all the time I’ve been losin’. Waiting until I could say!” chorused the Pixars. “Gonna be on my own, kiss the pencils good-bye! Go party from now ‘till the fall of the sky!”
Kenai charged up the stairs. “Things will be going my way,” he sang. “After todaaaaaay...”
The siren screeched across the grounds, calling all of the toons into the school. “I wish that today was the day,” whispered Kenai softly, starting down.
Still unused to his Bear paws, Kenai tripped, tumbling head over heals down the concrete.
“Are you okay?” asked the owner of the honey-brown paws he had landed at.
“Oh yeah I’m fine- Ibdkhkfasdhjkshdfkj,” stammered the Bear as his eyes met Lulu-belle’s.
Lulu-belle smiled reassuringly.
Confidence mounting, Kenai shouted “To infinity and beyond.”
Lulu-belle cocked her as Kenai clamped paws to his muzzle. Eyes terrified and sad, the Bear turned and ran for it, leaving a stunned she-bear in his wake.
Disclaimer: Heck with it- I’ll do copyrights at the end of the fic. However, it is a parody of the 1995 of A Goofy Movie.
A/N: Good day everyone.
As you may recall, I had several parodies posted here. Unfortunately, I wasn't smart enough to save them all on my computer; thus when the Funny Forest was accidentally deleted, the parodies went to the great message board in the sky- all but three of them; the three which, in my humble opinion, were the best of my humorous writings. Two were my Jib-Jab parodies (those I'll re-post in November); the third was this one. I have the second chapter done; however, it may be a while before the third chapter pops up as well (I've forgotten a lot of what I was going to have in this fic). Well, I've rambling on enough. So read, my friends, enjoy, and let's set the insanity free! Setting: The year is 2000, and the traditionally animated characters have come to terms with an undeniable truth: Steve Irwin is nuts. No, seriously- their time is over.
The unreleased animated characters both go to Animation School and live in a master-apprentice relationship with an older character.
Our protagonist is Kenai. Although his movie is set to come out in 2003, his hopes for it aren’t very high- indeed he thinks that the 2-Ds just accept their fate and rule the world of television and Direct-To-Video. Buzz, however, the 3-D turned 2-D character, thinks that the 2-D’s rightful place is on the big screen…
-------
"Kenai." The tawny bear lifted his head, desperately searching for the angelic voice.
“Kenai.” Kenai galloped through the golden plains, running, running until he found what he sought: the beautiful Lulu-belle.
She leapt from her pillar perch into his arms. The two lay side by side in a sun-warmed meadow, observing each with loving eyes.
Smiling, Lulu-belle leaned to kiss him; only to withdraw against the black sky with a shriek.
“What’s wrong?” cried Kenai, looking down at where his paws had been. Gloved, plastic hands had replaced the furry forefeet.
Kenai reared to his back legs, gasping as a helmet shut over head. Painfully, he morphed into a giant spaceman.
“Buzz-Buzz-Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue!” Kenai shouted.
-------
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Kenai awoke with a jolt, feeling his soft brown fur. No suit, no anything…
“It was only a dream,” he muttered. “A dream.”
“Time to get up, pal! We got a game to play!!” rang a Mickey Mouse-shaped phone, scaring the bruin bad enough to bat it. Realizing what it was, he managed to catch it before it smashed into smithereens. “Hello?”
“Kenai!” exclaimed Koda on the other line. “Where are you?!? Don’t tell me you chickened out of your big plan AGAIN, you big wuss!!”
“What?” asked Kenai, staring at the six-o’clock. “Wait a minute.” A powerful blow forced it to reveal the correct time of seven o’clock. “I’M LATE!!”
“Look, Kenai,” said Koda as the tawny bear struggled to prepare himself for Animation School. “I know we all can’t raging balls of brown fur; so if you want to quit this whole stupid futile ‘disturb the dull-as-dirt-Buck’s-lecture-on-how-2-D-should-only-live-on-in-T.V.-which-we-already-know-to-get-Lulu-belle’s attention, I’m cool with that.”
“NO KODA!!” growled Kenai. “It’s now or never!!”
“All right, have your way, you whimpering little murderer,” clicked Koda.
“Morning, o apprentice of mine!” said Buzz, the 3-D-turned-2-D space man, as he entered Kenai room wearing his pink Mrs. Nesbit’s outfit.
“BUZZ MY EYES!!!” screeched Kenai, covering his pupils.
“Oh sorry, space bear.” Buzz closed the door, knocked, and entered again. “Morning, apprentice! I came you see if had any…old conception arts…” the space ranger’s voice trailed off as he saw the ankle-high papers.
“Well there they are help yourself!” stammered Kenai, grooming his fur.
“Kenai you half-wit,” barked Lightyear. “Future rabid Brother Bear fans will KILL for these. You have to save them. What’s wrong with you anyway?”
“I’m late for animation school!!” exclaimed Kenai, wolfing down some day-old salmon.
“Well I could drop your there on my way to work,” said Buzz, vacuuming up the papers.
“It’s a closed air space Buzz-”
“OOPS!”
“I don’t like that word… AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!” said Kenai, gasping in terror as he saw his Mickey Mouse phone/alarm clock in the muzzle of the apron -wearing space toy’s vacuum.
“Buzz Buzz Buzz!” cried Kenai as Lightyear vainly tried to pull it out. Eyes flashing, the bear hit the off button. “Lightyear to the rescue- yeah right,” snarled the Bear. “You ruined it! And it was a collectable!”
“Aww come on bear boy,” chuckled Buzz, slapping the bruin’s back. “Why at my work there are two hundred of those things! They never sell- oh wait that’s the Mortimer Mouse ones.” Silence, then: “Who was he anyway?”
Kenai’s eyes narrowed. “Only Mickey Mouse, the most-beloved American icon of our century.”
Buzz grinned. “Not bigger than the Country Big Dog Toby Keith!”
Kenai’s face was incredulous. “You know who Toby Keith is but not Mick-”
“He has great songs! Like this one.” The bear watched in supreme horror as the space ranger burst into an off-key song (accompanied by bad dancing with the unwilling apprentice): "Don’t break my heart, my achey-breakey heart. I just don’t think it’ll understand!!”
“BUZZ NO!! THAT’S NOT EVEN TOBY!! OH STOP PLEASE!!! COME ON WHAT IF DREAMWORKS IS FILMING THIS FOR BLACKMAIL!! LET GO!!”
“Cause if you tell my heart, my achey-breakey heart,” soloed Buzz as the young grizzly ran for it. “It might blow up and kill its man. Ah good song eh Kenai? Kenai?”
-------
Kenai loped through the yard. Almost there…
“KENAI!!” said Buzz, blasting in front of him and shoving a brown paper bag into his mouth. “You forgot your lunch!”
“But I’m only going to be there for forty-five minutes!”
“So!?! You never know when a pack of Crater Vipers will attack, thus the need for carbon-based energy,” explained Buzz, walking off.
“LOSER!!” sneered the passer-bys P.T. and Molt.
Kenai smiled grimly until they passed; ears flat, he stalked down the sidewalk. “They’ve been laughing since the month of November. But they’re not gonna laugh anymore! No more 2-D the geek! No more flop of the week like before!”
“No longer shall 2-D be remembered!” sang Waternoose, tearing apart a poster of Walt and Mickey.
“We’ll watch them all perish with glee,” sneered Randall, grabbing Kenai’s ruff and tearing off several chunks of hair.
“In with what‘s hip and fresh,” stated Anchor.
“Out with the pencil drawn flesh,” sang Chum.
“Long live 3-D!” chanted the Tank Gang. “Long live 3-D! Long live 3-D!!”
“Gonna remember something!” vowed Dory.
“Gonna live in the pool!” smiled Gil.
“Gonna talk to Lulu-belle,” interjected Kenai. “And not feel like a fool!”
“Too late for that, kid,” said Gil.
“Cause after today we’re gonna be ruling,” chorused the Pixar characters.
“After today she’ll be mine!” warbled Kenai,
“After today we’ll be the animation kings!” agreed the Pixars.
Kenai pointed his muzzle at the sky. “If I don’t faint I’ll be fine!”
“We’ve got just four years of the old school,” announced Celia.
“Then down with the cartoons!” yodeled Mike.
“And up with what’s cool!” seconded Francis.
The young bear raced down the street, full of love of life; stopping only when he had reached a T.V. store. “Just think of all the time I’ve been losing finding the right thing to say. Cause thing will be going my way after today.”
Kenai’s face grew excited. And with good reason: the beautiful honey-brown Lulu-belle had just walked passed him, her smiling eyes on her path.
“She looked right through me,” sighed Kenai, slumping to the ground. “And who can blame her?” Rearing onto his back limbs, he pressed his face against the window, watching as a life-size model of Snow White was taken down. “Dead may 2-D be.” Kenai’s eyes grew determined as he charged onto the school bus. “But we shall now rule the world of T.V. And-”
“After today our brains will cruising!” cheered the various animated characters.
“No more moral scene to cut! Blah!” agreed Rodger Ebert, Puss in Boots and Donkey as they sat in the front seat.
“After today our minds will be snoozing!”
“I’m gonna just sit on my butt,” shouted Bruce the Bus-driver.
“I’ve got less than an hour. And when this is ended I’ll either be famous!” sang Kenai, running head-long into Principal Buck the Stallion.
“Or you will be censored!” barked Buck.
“Just think of all the time I’ve been losin’. Waiting until I could say!” chorused the Pixars. “Gonna be on my own, kiss the pencils good-bye! Go party from now ‘till the fall of the sky!”
Kenai charged up the stairs. “Things will be going my way,” he sang. “After todaaaaaay...”
The siren screeched across the grounds, calling all of the toons into the school. “I wish that today was the day,” whispered Kenai softly, starting down.
Still unused to his Bear paws, Kenai tripped, tumbling head over heals down the concrete.
“Are you okay?” asked the owner of the honey-brown paws he had landed at.
“Oh yeah I’m fine- Ibdkhkfasdhjkshdfkj,” stammered the Bear as his eyes met Lulu-belle’s.
Lulu-belle smiled reassuringly.
Confidence mounting, Kenai shouted “To infinity and beyond.”
Lulu-belle cocked her as Kenai clamped paws to his muzzle. Eyes terrified and sad, the Bear turned and ran for it, leaving a stunned she-bear in his wake.
