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Post by Midnight on Feb 20, 2007 17:57:27 GMT -5
Okay... I'm new and all... but I really need some support here. For you see everybody... I am in fact homosexual. This is no joke or anything. This isnt the emotional part... You see... I came out to my best friends ever back near christmas. They were okay with it at first, but slowly started to avoid me. Its moved on from avoiding to insults and abuse. All I get from them now is just that. And I don't know why... they said they were perfectly fine with the gay thing... but it seems strange that this would happen all the sudden. Can you imagine how much I trusted them to be able to tell them a secret like that?? They were the people I trusted most and of all.. I thought they would stand by me. I thought they were my ture friends and now they've made themselve's my worst enimies. I had so much abuse thrown at me tonight that I burst into tears... I don't know what to do... I get this bad about once a fortnight now please help. Any advice at all... please!! Thanks.
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Post by Del'aki on Feb 20, 2007 18:23:27 GMT -5
I might as well be honest....... I do not share the same conviction as you..... And like I've probably told some of you, I have a problem with Homosexuals....... But don't get me wrong, I respect your choice non-the-less...... Just like I respect any other religion... But what you can do, is next time they aproach you with insults, try to ask them what they have against Homosexuals, I'm sure the answer will be something similar to "I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOUR DIFFERENT" ....... But not that many would like to say that, up in your face... Because we are all different in some way or the other, instead they would probably try to avoid answering your question, and continue flaming...... but it will surely give them something to think about, "Why is it I hate Homosexuals?.... Hmmm..... There must be some other reason than them being different......" Perhaps they will give you a bit of a break...... If you've already tried that, or don't want to...... Then the last thing you would want to do, is act as if you care about them...... They come after you because the ENJOY making /seeing you suffer..... Simply ignore them...... The best thing you can do, is not care about them, ignore them or atleast answer them in a very relaxed tone...... Theres no point in worrying about that of which you cannot control.. Why do you think they come after you? Not just because your Homosexual, but because they obviously love insulting people like you..... But I wonder what would happen if you didn't give them what they wanted, in this case a nervous break down, or a clear sign that you are very offended of what they say....... They are only a small part of this world, so why go around and believe that everyone hate Homosexuals? ..... Actually here in Denmark, the first Homosexual singer EVER won the Danish melodi Grandprix this year ......
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Post by Ken'ichi on Feb 20, 2007 18:45:42 GMT -5
Aw man...I'm very sorry to hear on how your "friends" are treating you about your difference...
I just don't understand why they would mistreat someone like that just because they're different. Del'aki holds some pretty good points, the best thing to do is to ignore them, because that's what they want, to see you suffer and squirm. I can't believe they would drop the friendship and turn on you like that, it's...Well, awful!
Like Del'aki says, confront them once and for all and question them why would they do such a thing, what do they have against homosexuals that they would destroy a friendship after saying they're OK with it.
Either way, if they continue the assault it is best to ignore them, these things are common nowadays and there's nothing much people can do except to ignore them. When they realize their insults don't work they'll grow tired of insulting a wall.
Once again, I am so very sorry your friends turned on you like that, there is no excuse for their actions. Ignore them and best to move on. Stay strong and don't let them beat you. There are better people out there than them, and those better people will be your true friends no matter what.
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Post by Midnight on Feb 20, 2007 20:12:51 GMT -5
Thanks for the support so far... I tried being civil at least... abuse comes... I ask them to be civil and I get "We'reonly civil to people we like and that don't apply to you!!" So I think I will try out the option of completely blanking them. They said its not the homosexuality, but to be fair... the rest of their reasons are far too superficial to believe. Example... "We get abuse shouted at us by chavs when we go to town with you." That's a complete lie!! I never heard anything from chavs in town. I never even heard anybody shout anything at us in town. And even if they did... why should they care?! As far as I'm concerned... they're shallow. I thank you for your support guys. Even though I'm new, you still show me the same support I'd expect you to give somebody quite old on here. Thanks... starting to feel better already. XD
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Post by Ken'ichi on Feb 20, 2007 20:44:57 GMT -5
Pretty weak reasons for them to disrespect you. Anyway, it is best to ignore them now, they don't sound like real friends now if something like that simply breaks the friendship. And we're glad to help with suggestions and cheering each other up. We're happy to support our members in their times of need
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Post by Epesi on Feb 20, 2007 21:57:39 GMT -5
I want to show my support as well. It's terrible that the people you trusted betrayed you like that. I agree with Ken'ichi; those are not true friends. But I'm glad you were able to come here and share your feelings; it must take courage to open up to relative strangers. You have my respect.
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Post by nadine on Feb 20, 2007 22:24:55 GMT -5
Wow, a homosexual?! That's quite a shock! You're the first member I've known on this fourm that's gay. But don't worry. I don't have nothing againest them. We here at Awaken as a Bear care for you like a family. I know you're new here Midnight, but it's okay to tell us about your problems. And I understand, someone who betrays you like that after they found out your gay is the worst mistake they can do!! If there's anything else you want to talk about, don't feel bad. We're here to listen to you pal
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Post by Truttle on Feb 21, 2007 0:09:15 GMT -5
A bit late reply from me, but I give you my support too. Your situation is awful. I know how people can turn on you suddenly. Even though they said they have no problems with it, it's the actions that speak louder than words. It usually takes a while to find the true nature of people. I'm sorry you had to go through that, but I hope you can take confort that you can make other friends that don't care about who you are or what your preferences are. Friends like us! ;D
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Post by Ropespinner on Feb 21, 2007 11:05:32 GMT -5
People's reactions when someone reveals being homosexual can be quite narrow-minded. I think it is caused by not enough knowledge, which causes fear against something unknown.There have stereotypes and prejudices against unfamiliar things.
midnight, I think you're really brave to admit your homosexuality here; there are people from different cultures and therefore possibly some of them would find it somehow "wrong", but you still dared to "confess". Being the first one to say something new aloud is a hard thing to do, and I highly respect you for doing that here.
When I read the comments people have given you, I was glad to see they're positive - but I see how some of them still have some quite funny ideas about homosexuals (since they still think positively of it and mean good, there's no much wrong with that).
I feel really bad about midnight's friends abandoning him, but in a way I can see why they do what they do. I have once been abandoned by a person I considered a good friend. She could not stand being my friend because I was bullied by pretty much every kid in that town. I never felt like I belogned to the town. My ways of thinking were different of theirs, I quess, and I was (I still am...) a crybaby, and I was too kind/innocent/weak/whatever to defend myself, and in the end people just bullied me since everyone else did that too.
Since I was considered different, an easy target to be mean at, some friends (not the closest ones, luckily) left me. They found it easier to be friends with people who were like them, who were like everyone else was. There was no danger of being forced to look the things from someone else's point of view, having to use their brain, having to change their views of what they think is true. They also didn't want to get some of the negative attention I was getting. Sadly, it is way easier to be narrow-minded than to be open-minded. People do not always have the strength to do the right thing.
People, please be brave and open-minded, and try to think on your own rather than just accepting what "everyone else" thinks. It is harder than being just like everyone else, but we need people to break the stereotypes. When one person breaks them, he/she makes it easier for the next ones.
Midnight, maybe this is not very supporting, I'm sorry, but I think it is important. I just wish you won't give up, I wish you're strong enough. If you want to talk to someone (and in case you did not find this message stupid or annoying wanna-be-sentimental-blah-blah stuff, which I didn't intend it to be), feel free to PM me.
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Post by Harlequin on Feb 21, 2007 11:57:23 GMT -5
I know how you feel my friend.. I know how you feel. I may not be a Homosexual, but I'm close to it. I'm Bisexual, and being abandoned by your friends when you need them the most is a horrible thing.
I remember when my so called "friends" abandoned me because of my sexuality, and let me tell you, there is no worse pain in the worls.. then abandonment.. ._.
I wish to give you my support, and if you'de like.. I would like to be your friend. Will that make you feel better? :3
No one should be alone! <3
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Post by Midnight on Feb 21, 2007 12:42:14 GMT -5
^God... tell me about it... the only time I have ever felt a worse pain... emotional or physical is when a relative died. This comes pretty close if you think about it metaphoricly (or however you spell that...)... its almost like your friends died if you know what I mean. Oh... and so far... I consider everybody on here my firend, so yes... you are included!! ^_^ I felt it would be much better to come out as soon as possible anyway... that way, you don't spend a lifetime expecting something of me... instead, you know straight away and its less of a shock really. One has stricken the nail upon the head!! Its actually genetic. It was in Time magazine before when some scientists were researching it and found out its all genetic. Some people even believe that everybody is born bisexual and depending on how thier brought up depends on sexuality later in life... I never realised that coming out to you would get me respect as some have said. Just the fact that I have respect straight after joining helps me feel better. But something strange happened today... a girl who usually picks on me could actually physically see that I was depressed!! She was even conserned about it... and if its that bad... then... wow... Once again, I'd love to thank each and every one of you for your support... it really does help to have people reasure you... even if they're some random people on a forum you just joined. I am on another forum... but there's like 30 gays on it and lots of mean people, flaming etc and I knew I wouldnt be able to make this kind of topic there. Plus... I'd be nothing special there... there's like 2000 members. Thanks everybody, and feel free to add me if you have msn and wanna chat any time. <3
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Post by Del'aki on Feb 21, 2007 15:14:28 GMT -5
Ropespinner, I'm sorry to hear that you too have had some issues with socalled friends, can't say I've had any issues that were as bad as either. I tend to settle things before they escalate.... And I completely agree with you, that being weak, giving them what they want, and fearing them won't help a thing. If someone comes after you, you don't run.... You meet them face to face, show them that you do NOT fear them, even though they might outnumber you.... Showing some courage and resistance will surprise them, as too often do they get what they want without much resistance..... Your mightiest weapon is your tongue, with it you have the power to make people suffer, and make people laugh... If used correctly, even issues that would otherwise seem impossible to solve, can be solved..... Be strong, hold your ground and DO NOT give them what they would seek from you. Overcome your fears....
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Post by Midnight on Feb 21, 2007 17:13:04 GMT -5
At least are the key words there... I find the most offensive by a long shot to be where you say homosexuality is the same as zoosexuality... I'm actually kind of... (infuriated would be an understatement...) It doesn't matter what hoo hoo or ha ha someone's got. If two humans love each other... that's all that matters!! And you are forgiven. I'm just... ugh.
And this is just for everybody to be aware of... I didnt want a huge discussion about it all. Its just about the way that I was abandoned and abused by who were formerly my best friends that distresses me.
But that last post, Del'aki... I'm a little too angered for words. I know flaming won't settle anything and wil just result in bans... so I'm just going to try and forget about it. Just remember I'm the same person and I'm not even capable of changing my sexuality.
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Post by Truttle on Feb 21, 2007 17:22:48 GMT -5
Midnight is absolutely right. This topic is going off subject. It wasn't focused on Homosexuality or religion. The main cause for it was for comfort from his friend closing their friendship. There should be no opinions, criticisms, or preferences of race, religion, sexuality, country, or even the name, species, race or the color of any member or their characters of this board.
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Post by Del'aki on Feb 21, 2007 17:37:17 GMT -5
That part did perhaps come out wrong ....... But as I said, I'm not trying to attack your personality, I'm simply stating what I think about Homosexuality....... Would it be better that I keep quiet? atleast now you know what I think...... I believe that honesty is better than silence...... Anyways, please don't take it personal........ I don't hate you, I'm sure your a nice person, and that we can get along well enough And your right, if two people love each other then thats all that matters.... I Apologize....
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